1996 was rough…
The summer and fall of 1996 was rough for my family. My dad had a heart attack, and it was discovered that he had lung cancer. Other intense family situations had everybody over stressed. 1997 was going to be rougher.
After almost twelve years as the director of Christian education/associate in ministry at Birchwood Presbyterian Church it was time for a work transition. The congregation was on the edge of a multi-million-dollar relocation, and I wanted to shift into an expanded role that didn’t meet the hopes and expectations of those in power. It was agreed I would be leaving at the end of the school year. I informed a number of close friends and work connections about the change. I started looking for new work, hoping to stay in a church or ministry setting while committing to not moving out of Bellingham for the sake of our family.
Within a few weeks I ran into Mike. We had worked together years earlier at an area camp. “Hey, Jim. I see you are leaving Birchwood. You should apply for the Inn director job, Bill is leaving.” The Inn was the collegiate ministry of First Presbyterian Bellingham. It experienced eye-catching growth in the late eighties and nineties.
“Thanks Mike. I’m not the kind of person they will be looking for.” I was not the big personality, charismatic speaker type that had built the program. I let that one go.
Within a month I heard that First Pres, the same church, was looking for an administrator. I thought that might be a match for me. I had done some cooperative ministry with First Pres staff. The church had grown fast in the nineties and expanded its staff.
I sent a letter of interest and resume. I talked with about a dozen individuals I knew who attended First. I tried to get an honest assessment of what it would be like to work there. The responses were polar opposites. Half were versions of “David is a great pastor and leader, and you will love it.” The other half were, “It is a dysfunctional mess. Stay away.”
I got a first interview. The field was narrowed. I considered the input I had received and withdrew from the process before interview number two.
As the winter continued, I got into conversations with two other churches. One lasted a few months and then the possibility ended. The second perked, never formalizing, but not going away. Through a suggestion from Melissa, another friend from my days working at camp, I got a part time job teaching for a regional university graduate school.
Looking for what would be next…
Summer 1997 came, I left Birchwood, and was still looking for what would be next. When you move on from a church job you walk away from much more than other jobs. It affects the whole family. It was the only church our sons had known. Connie had been involved in many serving and leadership areas. Most of our adult friends were connected to the church. All of it gone.
A friend, Bill, attended First Presbyterian and approached me about helping with some fundraising over the summer. They wanted to upgrade and remodel their building and needed to raise about two hundred grand. I had left Birchwood after helping with a five-million-dollar relocation process. Two hundred grand sounded reasonable. I said yes.
I was still teaching a few weekends a month. My dad was failing, and I was trying to visit more often. Our other family stress was intensifying.
I started attending staff meetings at First Pres and collaborating with volunteers to set a program in motion. The cooperation was great and within about two months we had exceeded our goal. Note: Exceeding fundraising goals may give people a false sense of your abilities.
First Pres was still looking for the next director of the Inn. The search had narrowed to two finalists. I was asked to attend a meeting with the first candidate, in town for interviews. From the get-go it was an obvious “No.” Whether it was stye, personality, regional differences (a mid-westerner visiting the pacific northwest) there was quick agreement that this person was not going to fit.
My dad died August first. Our family crisis had resulted in devastating choices and changes.
I was in the final days of my part-time role at First Pres. Candidate number two was coming to town. Hopes were high. I was asked to take the candidate and their spouse on a tour of the area, while the committee finished an offer. I was at the offices getting ready to meet the couple when the committee chair found me. “He called me this morning and said “no.” he said he is not ready for this work and the change for his family. He was our last shot.”
“That’s tough. I hope something works out soon for you all.” I tried to offer encouragement. He said he had to get the committee together and figure out what would happen next.
I was still in conversation with the other local church. There was a possibility I would be starting there in September.
We are wondering…
The day after the last Inn director candidate left town, I was asked to a meeting with the pastor and search committee chair.
“Jim, we appreciate the ways in which you have been helping this summer. We are wondering if you would be interested in staying on this fall as interim director of the Inn. Maybe until the first of the year. There is a young man, Rob, on the Inn staff, we think you could mentor him, see if he could be the next director.”
“Thanks, that is a kind offer. I have another possible position I’m considering. I need to talk with them and with Connie.”
“Of course. That makes sense. Can you let us know by the end of the week?”
“I’ll do my best to get back to you soon.”
I went to see Connie at her office, about three blocks away. I told her what was happening. She was supportive. I called the other pastor and told him the situation. His response was, “That sounds like a good opportunity. Why don’t you go ahead with that, and we’ll continue the process here in a few months.
I got back to First Pres quickly. I met with the administrator, the person who had taken the job I walked away from, to clarify employment details. I met with Rob, and he helped me connect with the other three Inn senior staff members; Mollie, CJ, and Derek, and four interns; Angela, Jess, Chris, and Lee. Together we were the new college ministry team. I was the obvious old man at forty-three, they were all near or under twenty-five. We had a barbecue at Mollie’s and set a schedule for when we would meet to start planning.
there was crying, a lot of crying…
There was, also, an issue of broken trust. The previous director had been doing low-level work toward separating the college ministry from the church. Most of the staff team had little connection with or emotional interest in First Pres.
University classes started in late September. The staff decided to meet two weeks before school began for intensive planning and preparation. A bonus for me was that the college ministry offices were off the church campus, in the same building where Connie worked.
I had much to learn and many new people to meet.
We started with a staff retreat. We stayed at a home south of town. The family was away. The family had previously attended Birchwood Pres during my time there.
We laughed a lot, and the team helped me get up to speed. We worked together to figure out how I could best help them keep the momentum that they had worked to build.
After a few days of retreating, we were in the office. More planning and meetings. Our energies were focused on a student leader’s retreat the weekend before school started, our first weekly Tuesday evening gathering, and first week welcome events.
Thursday, the day before we were to leave for our student leader’s retreat, Rob asked for a meeting with me, the pastor and church administrator. He was struggling and had decided he was not ready to go forward with the Inn. He resigned.
In that moment we lost the cornerstone member of our programs. Programs that were shaped around his presence and leadership. And he was gone.
A sense of being in this together…
I went back to the office and pulled the team together. I explained what was happening. There was crying, a lot of crying. I did my best to give time. To allow words to flow. To listen, to care. After a long time of processing, I did my best to assure them that we could pull together and make things happen.
Fear and exhaustion mixed with hopeful anticipation, and we made it to the retreat, followed by two days of an all-campus welcome fair and then to our Tuesday event. Hundreds of students filled the church. The place pulsed with youthful energy. We made it through. The students finally left and the building quieted. The staff team met sometime after 11 pm. We had survived, and we were building a sense of being in this together. It was hard but good.
The weekly pace was frenetic. Night activities and daily meetings and preparations.
November came and I was asked to a meeting with the pastor, administrator, and a congregational leader. “Jim, thanks for all of your help. We know we asked you to be here until the holidays and December is about here. We appreciate the way you have joined us and helped keep the college ministry vibrant. Would you be willing to continue as interim director for the rest of the school year?”
I said thanks, that I would need to check with a few people and get back to them in a few days. Connie and the other pastor agreed that it would be good to keep going.
“I’m in.” Was my response. I loved the students, staff, the energy, and the sense of doing new things in new ways.
Sometime before winter had turned to spring, in an informal conversation, I was told they were dropping the interim title and they wanted me to stay. I stayed. I stayed fourteen years, until 2011.
an exhausting, exciting life…
Year after year, it was an exhausting, exciting life. New students came every year and seniors graduated. Interns turned over annually. Senior staff stayed longer, but I saw many come and go. Great people, creative events, and efforts to extend caring on campus, in the local community, and beyond were hallmarks of the Inn. The church leadership went through numerous shifts over the years, the relationship was always tenuous.
I said I wasn’t the right person.
I never applied.
I never interviewed.
I never signed a contract or agreement.
I stayed for fourteen years.
I stayed longer than at any other job in my career.
I was the longest serving director of the Inn.
And, as far as I know, I was the only director to abruptly “resign.”
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